


The memories that will remain with us (wherever we go)

by rokeat



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, so much sugar it will give you cavities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25938850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rokeat/pseuds/rokeat
Summary: Carlos and TK are moving in together, and Carlos needs a moment to say goodbye to the apartment where their story began
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 22
Kudos: 105





	1. First time TK feels comfortable at Carlos' doing nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back! You won't believe it, but this story was supposed to be a OS too, but it got out of my hands again! So just bare with me and enjoy it, ok? Fluff, fluff, fluff!

“Well, this is the last box I think”

Carlos looked at TK as the latter got out of their bedroom with a cardboard box. Well, technically it had always been Carlos’ bedroom, as TK had never officially moved in, right? And that was exactly the purpose of all of that, really: they were finally -finally!- moving together, and they had decided to start from scratch in a new place.

It had been Carlos’ idea, really: at first they had agreed for TK to simply move to his apartment, as it was a great place and there was enough space for both of them. But the day after making that decision, still on cloud nine and anxious for it to happen as soon as possible, Carlos had decided to start making room in his wardrobe for TK’s clothes when it hit him: it was _his_ wardrobe. Not _theirs_. As neither was his bed, his couch or the mirror in his bathroom. He had picked all those things what felt like a lifetime ago -long before he could even imagine how a certain green-eyed beautiful and challenging creature would turn his world upside-down-, only thinking about his own comfort and taste. 

But now he didn’t have only himself to think about. He was going to share his life with the most amazing man he had ever met, and he wanted for TK to participate in every decision they would have to make about their home. Of course TK had tried to convince him it wasn’t necessary, that his apartment was great, that he knew how much Carlos loved it, that he would easily adapt to it. But Carlos thought it wasn’t fair, he didn’t want for TK to feel like an intruder in his own home, he didn’t want him to _adapt_. So in the end it had been Carlos the one to convince TK that moving into their own place was the best option, that they would decorate it together from scratch -and fortunately closer to TK’s dad’s, so Owen could easily reach them if he needed them. And of course TK hadn’t been able to say no to the last reasoning, considering he felt a little guilty about leaving his father alone -even if Owen couldn’t be happier for him and had told him so a million times.

So that’s where they were now. Judd had been nice enough to lend them his truck. Well, not only lending it, he had been nice enough to help them move all the boxes and some pieces of furniture -they had moved TK’s things from Owen’s the day before, and today it was Carlos’ turn- even though he had been complaining about it the whole time (more for the sake of it than anything, as Carlos knew he adored TK and would do pretty much anything for him).

“Remind me again why I’m the one doing all the macho work while you just stand there even if these are mostly your things” TK joked, pretending the box he was carrying was very heavy, which made Carlos chuckle at him.

“Because you’re so strong and sexy”

“Yeah, right, I’m so much stronger than you, you moron”

“Of course you are, you’re my hero” Carlos answered, to which TK couldn’t decipher if he really meant it or was just being ironic.

“Right now I feel more like your slave” he protested either way.

“I’ll just have a quick look around to make sure we’re not forgetting anything, you take that to the truck and I’ll be out in a second, okay?”

“Kiss me at least” TK implored with a pout, which made Carlos laugh as his idiot of a boyfriend.

Though he obviously complied.

“Ok, I feel so much stronger now” TK joked after the quick kiss, resting the box on just one of his arms so he could playfully flex the other to show his boyfriend the perimeter of his biceps, which of course made Carlos laugh again. “Don’t be long!”

“I won’t” he promised.

As soon as TK crossed the front door, Carlos looked around and sighed. There had been a reason for him to want to be alone for a minute, and that was that he needed a moment. Sure, it had been his idea to leave this apartment, and he didn’t regret it at all. It was just… there were a lot of memories in every corner of that place. His whole story with TK could be explained in that damned apartment. And he needed a moment to say goodbye to it.

His eyes irremediably moved to the couch against the far wall of his living room. So many nights spent there, just cuddling and watching stupid TV shows just for the sake of it, so many late-night confidences, so many moments shared in which one of them would patiently comfort the other after a hard shift… And, of course, a lot of hot moments. Carlos was never going to forget how they had had their first time there. Actually no, that had been on the floor, next to it. But even then, they were not together yet, they were not even on their way there yet, so it wasn’t Carlos’ favorite memory at all. But he had another one on that couch that never failed to bring out a smile on him whenever it came to his head.

**********

_Carlos couldn’t help it: he felt happy. Nervous too, but happiness overcame everything else. It was strange feeling like this, considering he had had a day off and he was bored out of his head. Normally he would make the most of his days off, usually taking advantage of them to meet with the people he loved: his family, Michelle, some old friends from the academy… And of course TK, he thought with a mischievous smile. There had been a whole lot of TK recently. Ever since the solar flare, a couple of weeks ago, they had hung out together practically every day and they had done a million different things (not too strenuous, of course, as TK was still recovering from a wound shot and Carlos made sure he didn’t overdo it), making Carlos feel as if they were having the time of their lives._

_But today Carlos’ mother was busy, as well as his siblings, and both Michelle and TK had to work. In fact, TK was going back to work that day after his medical leave. And that left Carlos bored -and he had to admit that he had also been more than a bit worried about if TK would be alright-. And if he had texted him at least four times during the day just to ask him how he was doing, so what? TK knew he cared about him, he was not going to refrain from showing him now that he was totally in for a relationship. And well… he really worried and really needed to ask._

_So yeah, he had been doing nothing all day until he received the last texts from TK, the one that put him in the perfectly happy mood he currently was, he remembered as the butterflies in his stomach went crazy once again._

**_I am alright, I swear, just tired. Listen, I know we didn’t agree on seeing each other today, but do you think I could come over to yours after my shift? I miss you._ **

_Carlos marvelled at the change in TK since they had gotten together. It was still hard for him sometimes to take the first step or to let himself go to show Carlos how much he really cared about him -not that Carlos took any offense on this, of course, he completely understood after everything TK had been through not so long ago and he knew how TK felt about him. But he really was making an effort to be more open and it was more and more often every day that he would remind Carlos in some way that he cared for him. And it warmed Carlos’ heart to no end every time._

_So obviously he was about to say yes, he had missed TK like crazy all day, but before he could do it he received another text._

**_Though I feel I must warn you I’m kind of exhausted, so I’ll probably won’t be much of a company. I might even fall asleep on you! So you can say no if it doesn’t sound too cool, ok? No hard feelings :)_ **

_But that, instead of making Carlos change his decision, had only convinced him more. He quickly answered TK’s text, warning him not to even think about going to his dad’s, that he would be eagerly waiting for him with dinner ready and that he promised the greatest cuddles if he fell asleep. Oh yeah, and that he had missed him too, of course._

_To someone else, that last text from TK wouldn’t be anything special -if anything, it would be kind of a mood killer-. But to Carlos it meant the world. It was the first time that TK felt comfortable enough in their emerging relationship to invite himself to Carlos’ apartment. But what warmed Carlos’ heart to no extent was the fact that he didn’t really want to do anything. He was tired and sleepy and he thought he wouldn’t be much of a company. But he still wanted to see Carlos, he still felt the need to go to his apartment instead of sleeping his exhaustion away in his own bed and meet him totally refreshed the next day. He didn’t care if Carlos saw him at his lowest, he just needed to be close to him in the domesticity of his home. And that made Carlos happier than words could explain._

_He had been planning to eat some leftovers from the day before for dinner, but now that he knew TK was coming, he knew it was time for some cooking. His man deserved the best, didn’t he? Especially after his first day back to work in which he had already admitted he was exhausted. Carlos was going to spoil him and pamper him to no end, and that started with a great dinner, obviously. Probably with some massaging later, if TK was even the slightest sore; cuddling, almost for sure. And then, and only if TK wasn’t too tired, maybe some nice and sweet sex would be on the list._

_He looked at his watch and checked that he didn’t have the time to make a really complicated dinner, but he could still manage something easy. It would still be warm, homemade, healthy and everything TK deserved. So there was no time to lose!_

_He was just finishing the last touches to a nice, romantic setting on the table when he checked his watch again. It would still be a while until TK arrived, and he was too nervous to do much else, so he went back to the living room and once again lay down on the couch, face down, trying to put his anticipation and anxiousness to rest. He would get dressed more smartly for his boyfriend -as he deserved- in a little while._

_But he hadn’t been lying for even ten minutes, not really watching anything on the TV, when there was a knock on the front door. And before he could even process who it was, TK’s beautiful face was already appearing behind it._

_“Can I come in?” he shyly asked with a little smile, and gosh, Carlos would have melted right then and there at how beautiful he was if he wasn’t about to kill himself for not being ready to greet him as he deserved._

_“TK!” he exclaimed as he started pushing his body from the couch. “I wasn’t expecting you yet”_

_“No, don’t get up” TK requested while taking his shoes off to leave them next to the door, again smiling shyly at him, almost embarrassed at giving Carlos orders in his own home._

_“Ok” Carlos answered with a smile of his own, already feeling too smitten -as usual- to think about anything that wasn’t the beautiful man in front of him. “May I ask why?”_

_“I just want to lie down with you” TK explained, already moving closer to the couch and his very enamored boyfriend._

_“But there’s no room for… oh, okay, you found a place” Carlos said with a laugh as TK let himself fall on top of him, not bothered at all by his weight -comforted by it, instead. “You can’t be comfortable like that”_

_“I’m in heaven” TK assured him as he finished accommodating himself on Carlos’ back, their bodies perfectly aligned, and then rested a soft kiss there._

_Which made Carlos wonder if a heart exploding from holding too much emotion in it was a real danger, as his felt about to do that._

_“I’m sorry if I arrived too soon, my father insisted on me leaving an hour before my shift ended and I didn’t think to warn you in advance” TK apologized, the vibrations on his chest against Carlos’ back as he spoke making the latter think that heaven must be something quite similar to that._

_“You are always welcome here, Ty” Carlos answered honestly, not caring if he sounded a bit too intense because he wanted to make a point. “You never need to warn me first”_

_“Ok” TK answered simply, as he usually did whenever Carlos reminded him in any way how he felt about him -and Carlos could very well imagine the shy but happy smile he would be sporting, even if he couldn’t see it._

_“How was it today, how are you feeling?” Carlos asked, wanting to hear everything about his boyfriend’s day. “Why did your father make you leave early?”_

_“It was fine, my father worries too much” TK immediately -unsurprisingly- tried to reassure him. “Wasn’t expecting to get this level of exhausted, though”_

_Carlos laughed fondly at his boyfriend’s unusual admission. He had to be really exhausted to not play down the importance of it._

_“It’s been one month, babe, and you’re still not 100% well” he reminded him. “What about your shoulder?”_

_“Just a little stiff, but much better than I expected”_

_“That’s so great” Carlos exclaimed, genuinely happy._

_“Yeah” TK agreed, sounding content but too tired to really express it. “But I missed you”_

_“I’ve missed you too, babe” Carlos answered, moved at TK’s lack of restriction when he was tired. “You can’t even imagine”_

_“You’re so sweet” TK complimented him, his voice already sounding a little slurred, as he kissed the back of Carlos’ neck._

_“And you’re too cute to be true” Carlos responded, wishing he didn’t have his back to him so he could return the kiss. “Do you want me to massage it for you, though?”_

_“What?” TK asked in confusion, almost unable to keepon with their conversation._

_“Your shoulder” Carlos explained with a chuckle, thinking about how TK got even more adorable than usual when he was tired._

_“Does it imply either one of us moving?” TK asked, his voice now completely slurred with sleep._

_“Pretty much both, yeah” Carlos answered, openly laughing at his idiot slash adorable boyfriend by then._

_“Then no, thanks”_

_Carlos laughed again, but he tried to keep it quiet when he noticed the change in TK’s breathing, telling him that he had finally fallen asleep on him. Poor thing, he hadn’t been lying when he said he was very tired… It was bound to happen, of course, after a whole month of medical leave and such a strenuous job. But TK was always so energetic, so full of life, so anxious to move, that it was easy to forget that he was still kind of convalescent, after such a life-threatening injury. But Carlos hadn’t forgotten, and he was very keen on taking care of him that night._

_Of course TK wasn’t cooperating, he reminded him with the smallest snore. Not what Carlos had in mind when TK had asked for them to meet. The table was set, the dinner still untouched. And he couldn’t even see his beautiful face in this position. But TK needed the rest, needed to sleep, and Carlos was ready to do whatever it took to ensure that. Even being his mattress, apparently._

_After an hour, though, Carlos couldn’t take it anymore -he needed to see his boyfriend, to hold him, to caress him- and he felt an urgent need to turn around. He tried to do it as slowly as possible, so as not to wake his sleeping lover, but soon TK groaned and held onto him, as if he never meant to let him go._

_“Don’t go” TK implored, still more asleep than awake._

_“I’m not going anywhere, babe” Carlos promised in a whisper, taking the chance to finish turning around and accommodating TK to his chest. “Would never dream of it”_

_And he knew TK needed to sleep in a proper bed, needed some nourishment to get his strength back, probably even needed a shower to feel clean and refreshed… And Carlos definitely wanted to hear all about his day, make sure he was really okay, remind him again how much he cared about him. But all of that could wait. They still had time, he thought as he held TK’s body more strongly to his chest and kissed his forehead. They had all the time in the world._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter (probably four) will be of a different memory. Anyone interested? Just let me know!


	2. First time TK uses his key to Carlos' apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was quick this time, right?

Carlos remembered how that time he had had to wake TK up after another solid hour sleeping on top of him because he knew that eating something was just as important as resting to recover his strength -and if TK wanted to call him a mother hen, so be it, he worried about him ok?-. TK had groaned and protested a lot -poor thing, he was really exhausted- even if Carlos couldn’t be sweeter and more patient at waking him up, with whispers in his ear and loving kisses to his forehead and brow, but in the end he relented and opened his eyes. Carlos chuckled to himself as he remembered how mortified TK had been at the little drool stain he had left at Carlos’ T-shirt, even if Carlos tried to keep a straight face at his adorably dorky boyfriend as he assured him that it was okay, that it happened to everyone every now and then. But TK soon forgot about it and they had a nice dinner in each other’s company, while TK finally told Carlos all about his day and reassured him that he was okay, only tired, and would be as good as new in the morning. So after dinner they didn’t even pretend to move to the living room to watch TV and went straight to bed, where TK fell asleep again in no time and Carlos spent a good while just looking at him and holding him close to his own chest, thanking the universe for not taking him away from him with that wound shot just a month ago.

Trying to move on with his lookaround, Carlos walked to his kitchen and slid his hand on the counter. There were a lot of memories in that kitchen too. After their failed first attempt of a date, there had been uncountable occasions in which he had cooked for TK, or they had cooked together. There were even a few times when TK had cooked for him. And the first time he did was one of Carlos’ favorite memories.

**********

_ Carlos approached the door to his apartment, totally defeated after a horrible day at work. The only thing he wanted was to get a shower and jump straight into bed to sleep his bad mood away; tomorrow would be another day. Although that was a total lie: what he really wanted was to get lost between his boyfriend’s arms, to bury his face into the crook of his neck while TK whispered soothing words right next to his ear. But unfortunately that wasn’t an option tonight, because Carlos had texted him as soon as his shift ended and asked him to meet him but, unfortunately, TK had answered that they had changed his shift at the last minute and would be at the station until dawn. _

_ That’s why the music he heard even before opening the door to his home caught him by surprise. For just a second, the cop in him worried that there might be intruders in his apartment, but he quickly reasoned they wouldn’t put on music if they were supposed to be discreet, right?  _

_ The only people that had a key to his apartment were his mother -that never visited him without telling him first and would definitely never listen to that kind of music, especially that loud-, and Michelle -who he positively knew was away on holidays with some friends-. And of course TK, he remembered with a fond smile. Carlos had given him a key only a couple of weeks ago, but his boyfriend had yet to use it, still too prudent or too self-conscious to make his way in Carlos’ apartment on his own. And well, TK was supposed to be working, so it couldn’t be him either, right? _

_ More intrigued than really scared, Carlos opened the door and quickly scanned the room, trying to resolve the mystery. And as soon as he did, the fondest and biggest smile rapidly filled his face: there was TK alright, apparently cooking something in his kitchen. And yes, apparently, because the truth was the TK was loudly singing to the music and dancing like there was no tomorrow as he moved between the cabinets.  _

_ Carlos stood there for a couple of minutes, just admiring his boyfriend’s beauty, his energy, the adorable picture he made with his apron, a face slightly splattered with flour and the adorable way he pretended a big wooden spoon was his mic. And it that moment, Carlos knew he loved him. Not that it was a big revelation, really, he had been walking that road steadily for some time now. But it was the first time he had admitted it to himself so openly. And in that moment, standing there just watching his boyfriend completely making a fool of himself, he wondered if it was possible to love more intensely. _

_ Feeling almost lightheaded at the sudden rush of love he was feeling, Carlos practically ran into his kitchen, in a very real need to take TK into his arms and kiss him until they couldn’t breathe.  _

_ He wasn’t trying to be silent, but the music was so loud that TK had yet to notice his presence. And Carlos took advantage that he still had his back to him to try and encircle TK’s waist with his arms in a loving embrace.  _

_ What he hadn’t counted on was that TK was not expecting him by all means, so lost in his music he was. And as soon as Carlos’ hands came into contact with him, they gave him the scare of his life. So much that he jumped out of his skin and knocked the oil bottle he had been using out of the counter, with so little fortune that once it hit the floor, its cap went off and the oil quickly spread on the floor at their feet.  _

_ Of course TK still didn’t know who his assailant was, so he quickly turned away to find out and managed to slip on the oil. Carlos could see the disaster coming and jumped to try and stop TK’s fall, but the latter was falling heavily by then and he couldn’t do much when he slipped himself, so in the end they both ended up on the floor with a loud thud. _

_ Carlos fell partly on top of TK and avoided most of the blow, but a groan from his boyfriend and the hand he was bringing to the back of his head immediately alerted him that he had been hurt. So as quickly as the slippy floor allowed him, he jumped on his knees to grab the speakers’ remote and turned the music off, before he rushed to his boyfriend’s side again. _

_ “Oh my God, TK, are you okay?” he asked, his voice full of worry. “I’m so sorry!” _

_ TK didn’t answer for a moment, and Carlos started worrying he had really hurt his head, but then he burst into a fit of giggles that almost left him out of breath. Of course Carlos couldn’t help it and started laughing like crazy too, marvelling at how his horrible day had turned into utter happiness after just a couple of minutes in his boyfriend’s presence. _

_ “Are you okay?” Carlos repeated, once he was able to stop laughing for a second. _

_ “Yeah, I just hit my head on the cabinet” TK answered, still giggling stupidly from time to time. _

_ “Let me see it” Carlos asked as he helped TK sit up so he could check the back of his head. “Shit, you’re getting a nice lump” _

_ “I’m sure I’ll live” TK immediately tried to diminish the importance of it, as it had been only an accident and didn’t want his boyfriend to feel guilty. _

_ “I’m so sorry, babe, I didn’t want that to happen” _

_ “I know that, honey, it’s okay” TK immediately absolved him, though didn’t miss the chance to kid him a bit. “Though you’re cleaning the kitchen and washing my clothes” _

_ “Deal” Carlos easily agreed, still feeling guilty. _

_ And then he tenderly kissed TK’s lips to seal their deal. _

_ “Hi” he said in the most loving voice and a gentle pat to TK’s cheek to get rid of the still present flour, once he realised he hadn’t properly greeted him yet. _

_ “Hey” TK answered with a shy smile, melting inside at all the emotion he could see in his boyfriend’s eyes. _

_ “What are you doing here, by the way? I thought you weren’t free tonight” _

_ “I lied” _

_ “Nice to know that’s so easy to do for you” Carlos retorted, though he poked at TK’s waist for some tinkling so he would understand he was only joking. _

_ “You silly” TK mockingly protested, playfully slapping Carlos’ hand away from him. “I wanted to surprise you”  _

_ “Well, you surely did”  _

_ “No more than you surprised me!” _

_ “I’m sorry for that” Carlos answered with a laugh, before his face transformed into the softest, most loving expression again. “So were you cooking for me?” _

_ “Well, you always cook and I wanted to do something nice for you for once” TK explained, shrugging his shoulders in a shy and adorable way that made Carlos chuckle again. _

_ “That’s so sweet” _

_ “I hope you don’t mind I invaded your home and your kitchen” _

_ “That’s why I gave you a key for, right?” _

_ “I guess” _

_ “You can use it whenever you want” Carlos honestly reminded him, wanting for TK to feel completely comfortable around the apartment, almost as if it was his own. _

_ “Ok” TK answered, biting his bottom lip in a useless try not to smile stupidly. _

_ “Preferably quite often” Carlos insisted, gently grabbing TK’s chin between his thumb and his index finger to make sure TK wouldn’t look away, as he sometimes still did, and would be able to read in Carlos’ eyes how serious he was about his request. _

_ “Ok” TK repeated with a promising nod and the smile he could no longer hold. _

_ “Good” Carlos answered before he brought TK’s face to his and finally captured his lips in a searing kiss. _

_ Of course they had been separated for too long through the day to content themselves with only a kiss and it wasn’t long before they got lost into each other’s taste. _

_ TK threw his arms around Carlos’ neck and brought him impossibly close to him, in a move he usually did and that brought Carlos crazy without fail. So crazy that he used their position to push his boyfriend’s upper body down, intending to lie on top of him in an attempt to get even closer to him, even if he knew that was physically impossible.  _

_ TK let him, equally eager, and opposed no resistance but, as soon as his head made contact with the floor, the lump on the back of it made his presence known again and he couldn’t repress a little moan at the surprise of it that forced him to break the kiss. _

_ “Ouch” he said with a chuckle, almost as an explanation as why he had broken their heated interaction. _

_ “Sorry” Carlos apologized again, even if he couldn’t help but to laugh at TK’s amused expression. “We should put some ice on that” _

_ For once, TK didn’t protest and let himself be helped to stand up when Carlos’ hand appeared in front of him. His loving boyfriend even helped him to the nearest stool, as if he was sreiously hurt instead of just having a stupid lump, and then grabbed a pack of ice and lovingly held it to TK’s head. _

_ “Thanks, honey” TK told him, looking lovingly and gratefully at him. _

_ “You’re welcome, babe” he answered, kissing the top of his head to make himself forgiven, even if he knew there was no need for that. _

_ “Oh, I can hold it myself while you clean, you know” TK suddenly announced, trying to sound innocent even if he knew his boyfriend knew better. _

_ And he did, judging by the way Carlos looked mockingly irritated at him. But of course they had made a deal, so Carlos took a clean cloth from a drawer and bent down to start cleaning the mess. _

_ “Uh, nice booty” Tk playfully commented, making Carlos jump to his feet again, his face blushing with embarrassment at a comment he hadn’t been expecting. _

_ But of course TK’s naughty expression when he looked at him again made him forget about any unnecessary embarrassment and he just laughed, throwing the cloth at his boyfriend in feigned anger as the latter again broke into a fit of giggles. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Do you think this is worth it continuing? I'm having doubts... You can tell me if it's not ;) Please, let me know what you think!


	3. First time TK says the magic three words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the waiting! But it's a long chapter, so you will have to forgive me :)

Fortunately it hadn’t taken TK too long to get used to the idea that he could come and go in Carlos’ apartment as much as he wanted without needing any kind of permission. And there was nothing Carlos’ loved better than TK making his way to him after a long shift, at dawn, getting silently into bed so as not to wake him and cuddling up to him as if they had spent years apart. Or better yet, when it was Carlos the one to be going back home late and finding TK asleep in his bed -most of the times he had been trying to wait for him awake and had failed at the attempt, but Carlos always smiled stupidly at the sight, then he quickly got rid of most of his clothes to get under the covers and just clung to TK’s back, waiting for the mandatory content sigh from his boyfriend before he melted into his arms without really awakening.

The next place his eyes fell on during his last inspection of the apartment was the table in the living room. Gosh, he couldn’t possibly count how many meals they had shared at that table, mostly just ordinary dinners after a hard day’s work, where they would tell each other everything about their shifts, joking when it was convenient or supporting each other if they had had a bad day. But there had been quite a few celebrations there too, Carlos remembered with a bright smile at a specific one that had made him the happiest man alive.

**********

_ Carlos was feeling 50% happy, 50% intrigued as he made his way back home after work. It was his birthday today, and TK had promised to take care of a proper celebration in the evening, after their shifts. At the beginning Carlos had thought TK meant to throw him a party with all their loved ones -since their relationship had been in the open for months now and both of them knew and loved each other’s families and friends-, but he had clearly stated that he would rather celebrate it more intimately, just the two of them, if that was alright for him. He even promised to celebrate it again on the weekend with everyone if Carlos had been hoping for a big thing, but that he needed him for himself on his birthday. Of course Carlos would agree to anything TK asked him, especially when he looked at him with those big, green, beautiful puppy eyes that never failed to make him surrender. But really, it was the first birthday he got to celebrate who was quickly becoming the potential love of his life, so he couldn’t care less about how it happened, as long as TK was there at his side. _

_ Knowing TK, though, he probably had big things in his mind -big gestures, he called them, as his dad had instilled in him-. Carlos had been trying to convince him he didn’t need any of that, that he didn’t have to go into so much trouble for him, especially considering they both had to work that day. That he was alright even with sitting on the couch, eating pizza and watching a bad movie. It would still be the best birthday ever because they would be together. But of course TK never pretended to even listen when he got an idea stuck in his head. And Carlos knew better than to try to get in the middle of it. _

_ So that’s why he was standing at the door of his home, not really knowing what was waiting for him inside. TK was supposed to finish his shift a couple of hours before he did, so he guessed he would have it all ready by then. Time to discover what his crazy but pretty-perfect-otherwise boyfriend had ready for him. _

_ Carlos put his key on the lock and turned it, but just when he was getting the door open, something hit it with incredible force from the other side and stopped his advances. _

_ “No!” TK exclaimed from inside, obviously being him the one keeping Carlos from opening the door. “You can’t be here!” _

_ “I’m pretty sure I live here” Carlos joked, chuckling, because he really loved when TK got all carried away with plans and surprises, as he was so obviously doing in that moment. He was probably decorating the house for him or something, or giving the finishing touches to the wonderful dinner Carlos had no doubt he was going to have. _

_ “But you can’t be here yet” TK whined. _

_ “We had a date, yeah? I would never be late to a date with you” _

_ “Why do you have to be so damned polite and perfect? Couldn’t you just be… I don’t know… human, for once?” _

_ Carlos laughed from the other side of the door at the comment -even if it never failed to warm his heart the high opinion his boyfriend had of him. _

_ “Ok, so what is this about?” he asked when he stopped laughing and he realized he was still being denied access to his own home. _

_ “I… I ran into a bit of trouble” TK sheepishly confessed. _

_ “Are you ok?” Carlos quickly asked, starting to get a bit worried. _

_ “Yeah” TK answered, but he sounded so defeated that Carlos was not convinced. _

_ “You sure?” _

_ “Yeah, don’t worry” _

_ “Then it’s nothing we can’t fix, love” Carlos tried to make him understand, hating to think that his boyfriend was berating himself for whatever the hell had happened. _

_ “But I ruined everything” TK complained, breaking Carlos’ heart at how defeated he sounded. _

_ “I’m sure you didn’t” Carlos tried to convince him -and comfort him at the same time. _

_ “Yeah, you wish” TK answered with a humorless laugh. _

_ “Baby, you do realize that right now I’m picturing a million situations that are quite probably way worse than what really happened, right?” _

_ “Nothing you can imagine could be worse than this” _

_ “Can I be the judge of that?” _

_ “But it’s your birthday! Everything was supposed to be perfect!” TK whined, and he suddenly sounded so childish that Carlos had to fight hard not to laugh. _

_ “Cariño, I don’t care what happened, really, you’re here and that’s all I need for it to be perfect” he honestly reminded him. _

_ “You sure?” TK asked, sounding hopeful, and Carlos was glad to see he was starting to convince him -and fortunately would let him in soon. _

_ “I promise. Now please, baby, will you let me in?” _

_ “Ok, but don’t say I didn’t warn you” TK lamented as he let go of the door, understanding that he couldn’t just keep Carlos outside forever. _

_ Almost apprehensively, even if he knew that TK was probably just making a big deal of whatever the hell was happening because he was a perfectionist -and a bit of a drama queen-, Carlos made his way inside. But before he could even even take a look at his boyfriend or at his apartment, a big, fluffy dog jumped on him and almost threw him out of balance. _

_ “Hey, look who’s here!” Carlos happily said, as he set Buttercup down and crouched himself at his eye-level to vigorously caress his head and neck. “Hey, buddy!”  _

_ “Yeah, ain’t he adorable?” TK ironically said, which surprised Carlos a fair amount as usually he was absurdly protective of the dog. “My father had a date with Zoe and asked me if I could take care of him for the night. I couldn’t say no, he hasn’t been out since forever due to his treatment, and since you love Buttercup I thought it wouldn’t be a problem” _

_ “And it isn’t, you know that. Hi, babe” Carlos reassured his boyfriend once he got back on his feet and took a long moment to hold him lovingly between his arms, where he belonged. “So what’s the… What the hell happened?” _

_ Carlos instantly regretted almost yelling when he saw the flinch in TK’s face, but the mess his apartment had become -with broken things, food stains and even water dripping from the table- caught him entirely by surprise. _

_ “Well, it was mostly Buttercup’s fault” TK tried to blame everything on the dog, but Buttercup sat in front of him, looking at him with big, sad eyes, and licked his hand, and it was all it took to break TK’s resolution. “Look, I made dinner, even if Buttercup kept getting in the way. I even bought a new tablecloth so the table would look perfect! But as I was distracted lightning the candles, Buttercup raised on his rear legs at the counter to try and steal the meat I had just gotten out of the oven. I saw him and I yelled at him to leave it alone, but I scared him and he accidentally hit the platter with his paw. I tried to run to grab it before it fell on the countertop under it but I tripped with the wire of the speaker I had just moved to bring it closer to the tabe for some romantic music. I grabbed on the corner of the table to keep from falling and accidentally pulled at the table cloth, so the pitcher full of water fell and soaked it completely. And of course I wasn’t able to keep the platter with the main dish from falling, so it did and fell on top of the salad resting on the countertop under it. I wasn’t able to save any of it, of course, because everything was filled with small fragments of glass from both platters. And by then Buttercup was happily licking everything anyway, so…” TK knew he was almost ranting, but Carlos didn’t seem to be able to find the words to speak so he continued his explanation. “And if that wasn’t enough, the wire from the speaker is broken, as well as the two platters I told you plus two glasses that had been lying on the table. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll buy replacements for everything” _

_ Carlos looked at his boyfriend’s pitiful expression -sad eyes, a pout in his mouth begging for forgiveness-, then looked at the dog sitting patiently at their feet and finally his eyes scanned all the disaster around the apartment. And suddenly, somehow, it became too much and he couldn’t help but to burst into giggles at the unbelievable -and yet believable considering it involved his crazy boyfriend- story. _

_ “So I think you’re not angry” TK observed confusedly at his boyfriend’s reaction -and a little upset at the lack of understanding. “Ok, could you stop laughing now?” _

_ Carlos wanted to stop, he really did, but it was just too funny and TK’s confused slash annoyed expression only made it worse. _

_ “You’re my boyfriend, you’re not supposed to laugh at my misery” TK protested, although he couldn’t deny that the relief of Carlos not getting angry or disappointed at him, paired with his contagious smile, was making it complicated for him to keep from laughing too. _

_ “I’m sorry, cariño, I’m so sorry” Carlos apologized, making a big effort to stifle his laughs, although by then he could see TK was starting to smile. “It’s just… gosh, you’re such a dork” _

_ “Well, thanks!” TK ironically answered, even if the smirk on his face clearly belied his real feelings on the matter. _

_ “But the cutest dork I’ve ever met” Carlos complimented him -in complete honesty, even sticking his lips out for TK to give them a quick peck, which he did after giving his boyfriend a mocking frown. _

_ “Well, I guess that’s something” _

_ “Come here” Carlos said in a more serious tone, as he drove his hands to each side of TK’s waist and brought him closer to him. “Thank you so much for taking so much trouble for me. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out as you expected” _

_ “No, I’m the one who’s sorry, honey. I ruined your birthday, the first one we got to celebrate together” TK lamented lowering his gaze, and Carlos couldn’t decide if he looked more embarrassed or guilty -but he surely didn’t like any of the options.  _

_ So he raised TK’s face again with a finger under his chin and looked intently -but lovingly- at him. _

_ “There will be hundreds of birthdays to celebrate together” Carlos pointedly told him, implicitly asking him if he was correct in his assumption. “Won’t they?” _

_ But of course he didn’t have to worry, as TK nodded without hesitation and even regarded him with a small smile. _

_ “So there, we’ll just perfect them with time, as we did with everything else. And you didn’t ruin it. Gosh, just knowing you cared and tried so hard…” _

_ “To no avail” TK interrupted him. _

_ “To make me happy” Carlos contradicted him. “Seriously, TK, you didn’t ruin anything. We can still save some of it, right?” _

_ “Maybe the candles” TK joked, finally starting to see that Carlos really didn’t seem affected by his whole birthday disaster. _

_ “That’s the attitude!” Carlos congratulated him with a laugh and a quick but tender kiss to the tip of his nose. _

_ “I’ll replace everything I broke, I promise” _

_ “Don’t be silly, there will be no need for that, it was just some unfortunate chain of accidents” _

_ “Even then…” _

_ “Don’t even think about it. I’ll get angry if you buy anything, ok?” Carlos mockinly threatened him, finally -finally!- eliting a chuckle from his boyfriend. _

_ “Ok. I’m still sorry, though” _

_ “You really don’t need to be” Carlos insisted, and then he kissed TK’s lips for a second, as if to seal an agreement that everything was now alright. “Well, what do you want to do now? Do you want us to go out to celebrate, maybe somewhere nice? I’ll let you buy” _

_ “No!” TK opposed, practically yelling in surprise at the suggestion until he realized Carlos might see through his intentions too soon. “I mean… I would rather have you all to myself today, if you don’t mind” _

_ “Ok, then… let’s order some pizza?” Carlos suggested next, even if he thought his boyfriend was acting kind of weird. _

_ “Shit, I fucked up so badly” TK lamented again at what seemed to be a hideous idea. _

_ “Why? You know I love pizza!” _

_ “We’re not supposed to be having pizza on your birthday, we do that all the time!” _

_ “We don’t that much, and I really feel like pizza now” Carlos argumented, only wanting for TK to stop feeling guilty and for them to begin having fun. _

_ “Ok, it’s your birthday after all, I can’t deny you anything. But we’re not eating it at the couch” _

_ “Why not?” _

_ “Because it’s your birthday! We’re both going to change, we’re going to light the candles that aren’t ruined, put some music on my phone and have a romantic dinner at the table, like the grownups we’re supposed to be!” _

_ “Do we have to?” Carlos groaned, but TK could easily see he was only pretending. _

_ “Yes, we do” TK answered with a laugh before kissing Carlos’ pout away. “We’re adults, we’re not getting any younger… Especially you” _

_ “You bastard” Carlos mockingly protested as he pretended to grab TK’s neck to choke him in offense. _

_ “Come on” TK said, more seriously, cupping Carlos’ cheeks in his hands to have his full attention, “you go and take a shower and dress up for me so I can admire your beauty even while having pizza, and then lend me a clean shirt, please, so I can look nice for you too” _

_ “If you want to look good for me, having no shirt on looks like a better idea, you know?” Carlos answered suggestively, moving to rest his lips against the sensitive skin on TK’s neck -which never failed to get him in the mood. _

_ “What did I say about having a formal and romantic dinner?” TK reprimanded him, even moving a bit backwards and away from his lips’ reach before he lost control of himself.  _

_ “Ok” Carlos answered with a big sigh, even resting his forehead against the side of TK’s head in a big show of martyrdom.  _

_ “Thank you” TK answered with a compensatory kiss to Carlos’s lips, even if he couldn’t prevent himself from laughing at his acting skills. _

_ ********** _

_ TK, much to his regret, ordered the pizza they were supposed to be having -Carlos’ favorite, of course, since it was his birthday- and started cleaning all the mess he and Buttercup had managed to make while Carlos took his time in the shower. Buttercup was following TK around the apartment at every step that he took, obviously noticing how his favorite person in the world seemed to be angry at him, and at the third time he whined at him and licked his hand to get his attention, TK’s resolution broke with a laugh and he crouched down to hug the enormous dog. _

_ “I know you’re sorry, boy” TK said against the fur on Buttercup’s neck. “It’s ok, our plan is still on” _

_ “What plan?” Carlos asked as he unexpectedly arrived to the kitchen. _

_ “Just… to celebrate the birthday of the most amazing man on the face of the Earth” TK quickly improvised as he stood up from his place next to the dog and went to embrace Carlos instead -although he was completely honest. “Who, lucky me, happens to be my boyfriend” _

_ “Aw, aren’t you the sweetest thing?” Carlos responded with the fondest smile as he captured TK’s lips and took his time to savor them. _

_ “Gosh, you look… amazing” TK stated, even taking a couple of steps back to admire Carlos’ beauty from a better perspective. _

_ Carlos visibly blushed at his boyfriend’s appraisal. Normally he wasn’t someone easy to embarrass, and he knew he was attractive -and he was wearing that blue shirt TK loved on him so much-, so he was kind of used to being complimented at that department. But the way TK looked at him, that pure adoration in his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe that he was real, was a bit too much for his heart.  _

_ “Thanks” was everything he could manage to say for a moment, before he followed TK’s retreat and took him in his arms again, unable to stay away from his touch for too long when he kept looking at him like that. “I brought you the green shirt, ‘cause it will accentuate your beautiful eyes” _

_ “Aw, you’re so sappy“ TK joked, even if he blushed a little himself while taking the shirt from his boyfriend’s hands.  _

_ “Can’t you just take a compliment?” Carlos said with a laugh, although he was only half joking. _

_ “Sorry” TK laughed sheepishly. “Do you want to help me?” he added with a mischievous smile as he got rid of the stained and wet T-shirt he had been wearing until then.  _

_ “I like it more when I’m helping you undress” Carlos said in a husky tone as he took advantage of TK’s upper nudity to attack his neck with his lips again. _

_ “Not yet, mister, we’ve got to have dinner first” TK pushed him away with little conviction, but in reality he let himself be taken care of by Carlos’ amazing lips. _

_ “You’re no fun since I got older” Carlos joked, moving his kisses to his boyfriend’s lips in a kiss that was getting hotter and more intense by the minute. _

_ Until they were interrupted by the doorbell. _

_ “The pizza is here!” TK happily announced, throwing the shirt on himself -as Carlos had failed to help him completely- and moved to open the door. _

_ “Damnit” Carlos muttered, indignant at the interruption -and at the fact that TK was getting dressed, instead of the other way around. _

_ But TK’s smile was so bright and wide when he made his way back to the kitchen, happy that they were finally going to have their romantic dinner -even if it was with pizza- that he could only warm to it, and smiled stupidly at him in response. _

_ “I’m going to grab some plates” TK announced as he passed him by on his way to the kitchen. _

_ “Or we could just…” Carlos was about to suggest there was no need for so much formality, but TK was quicker than him. _

_ “We’re having plates” _

_ “Alright” Carlos conceded with a sigh. _

_ “And cutlery” _

_ “You have to be kidding me” _

_ “Grown-up romantic dinner, remember?” _

_ “You’re going to be the death of me, Tyler Kennedy Strand” Carlos muttered under his breath. _

_ “I heard that” TK said good-naturedly as he brought the two pizza-filled plates and set them in front of each of the chairs, before moving to get Carlos’ chair out for him to sit. “Now if you’d be so kind…” _

_ “It would be my pleasure” Carlos answered in mocking formality, amused at TK’s efforts. _

_ Their dinner was as wonderful as TK had hoped -even if it hadn’t gone according to the plan. Even if he didn’t have a speaker, he used the playlist he had gotten ready for their night in his phone with their favorite romantic songs; the light of the candles, which reflected on their eyes, created a soft and romantic atmosphere that got them drunk on love even if they were just drinking water (Carlos had insisted he didn’t want to drink any alcohol even if TK didn’t mind). The conversation easily flowed between them and they held hands through most of it without even being aware of it. _

_ “There was something else I didn’t ruin” TK announced all of a sudden, once the pizza was long gone, and lost himself in the kitchen for a second, as Carlos was left waiting for him. _

_ And he thought his heart was going to burst with love when TK made his way back to him with a cake full of candles and singing happy birthday to him as he tried not to trip with an overexcited Buttercup. _

_ “Aw, you even made a cake for me?” Carlos said, more than a little overwhelmed at how much TK had worked for him. _

_ “Of course I did. And since it was in the fridge, neither Buttercup or me had the chance to ruin it” TK answered with a laugh, once he had set the cake in front of his boyfriend and was fondly petting Buttercup’s head. _

_ “It looks delicious, you didn’t have to get into so much trouble” _

_ “I wanted to. You deserve it. In fact you deserve everything in this world” TK explained in a rush of tenderness, leaning behind his boyfriend to put his arms around his neck and letting his chest fall against Carlos’s back. _

_ “I think I’ve got it” Carlos honestly answered, resting his hand on TK’s arm to squeeze it as he turned his head around as much as he could to try and look at him. _

_ “Ok, make a wish” TK ordered him, letting go of him before they got too carried away with emotion -but stayed behind him, with his hands on Carlos’ shoulders. _

_ “Aren’t we a bit too old for this?” _

_ “I baked a cake just for you, so don’t be a spoilsport and make a wish” _

_ “Considering the day you’ve had, you’re sure it’s safe?” Carlos joked, hoping there wouldn’t be more accidents. _

_ “You bastard!” TK jokingly insulted him while letting out a big laugh. _

_ “Ok, ok, I’m sorry” Carlos apologized, laughing too, even if he knew it wasn’t necessary. “It’s the best cake I’ve ever had, I love it”  _

_ “Then come on, blow” TK said, before he realized what he had said at Carlos’ dirty look. “At the candles” _

_ Of course Carlos couldn’t deny TK anything at the best of times, especially when he was excited and silly like he was right now, so Carlos closed his eyes for a moment, mentally made his wish and then put all the candles out in one go. _

_ And before he knew what was happening, TK leaned on his back again and whispered “I love you” in his ear. _

_ Carlos was left speechless and unmoving for a second as he tried to process that he had just heard the three words he had been patiently waiting to hear from TK’s lips for a long time. Still afraid he had heard them wrong, he turned around in his seat to look at his boyfriend, and was astounded and marvelled at TK’s loving smile as he looked back at him. So he had really said it. And he clearly meant it. Almost too much to bear to sit still, Carlos stood up in a rush and hugged his boyfriend with all his forces. _

_ “Do you mean it?” Carlos whispered in their embrace, sounding almost afraid at hearing the answer. _

_ “Of course I do” TK answered with a shaky laugh, obviously moved at his boyfriend’s exuberant reaction, as he broke their embrace but didn’t move an inch from him to cup Carlos’ face and make him look into his eyes so he would be convinced of how honest he was. “I love you, Carlos” _

_ “Gosh, TK, I love you too” Carlos answered, his love filled with emotion, before he captured TK’s lips in a passionate kiss that left them both out of breath for a second. _

_ When the kiss broke, Carlos felt completely and physically unable to separate from his boyfriend, so he rested his hands on each side of TK’s waist and glued their foreheads together. _

_ “So… all of this…” he tried to say, starting now to understand TK’s obsession for everything to be perfect and how he had wanted to stay home even when everything had failed. _

_ “Yeah. All of this was meant to create the perfect moment. After waiting for me for so long to say it, I wanted it to be something special… We were not supposed to be eating pizza” TK explained with a smile that didn’t really reach his eyes, obviously still feeling bad about the whole fiasco. _

_ “It doesn’t matter, Tyler, you don’t know how much I loved it anyway” Carlos tried to make him see. _

_ “You deserve better” TK said before he could even stop himself. _

_ Carlos’s heart broke a little as he observed some of his boyfriend’s insecurities coming back for a second. He had come a long way since the beginning, when he saw himself as a broken person and didn’t feel he was good enough for Carlos and would never be. Because to him Carlos was perfect, it was as simple as that, and he had been so loving and patient with him he didn’t even feel real. It had taken Carlos some time to convince him that wasn’t true, that they were equals in their relationship and that he had never felt -or never would- as if TK was anything less than perfect himself. And TK believed it most of the time, but there were still a few occasions when, out of nowhere, something happened that made TK feel as if he wasn’t enough, as much as he tried. It would probably always be a part of his boyfriend, Carlos knew. But Carlos would never stop telling him and showing him how wrong he was. _

_ “TK, I couldn’t possibly do any better, because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me”  _

_ TK smiled, more widely this time, and put his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders in gratitude, so Carlos only had to change his grip around TK’s waist to make it into a full, long and tender embrace. _

_ “I love you, Carlos” TK softly repeated once more, as if now that he had been able to say it, didn’t want to ever stop again. _

_ “I know” Carlos reassured him, even kissing the side of TK’s head for better measure. “I’ve always known” _

_ They remained in that embrace for a long time, even rocking their bodies together in slow motion, almost as if they were dancing to a music only they could hear. That is, until Buttercup got tired of feeling left out and playfully pushed on TK’s legs to remind him of his presence, which sent them both in full laughter. _

_ “I love you too, buddy” TK said to his adored dog while crouching down to embrace him. “Don’t get jealous, you know you’ll always be my favorite boy” _

_ “Hey!” Carlos protested, feigning to be angry even if he loved to see his own favorite boy more relaxed and playful than a few minutes before -which probably meant he had been able to send his insecurities away once again. _

_ “Let him be happy, honey, you know who I really love the most” TK answered, giving Carlos’ lips a quick peck. “Shall we taste the cake? Maybe it will be eatable and everything” _

_ Carlos laughed as TK went to grab a knife and started cutting a couple of slices of the cake. It was pretty good in the end, they both agreed, and they ate their pieces between kisses and laughs, forgetting about everything else until Buttercup accidentally dropped the cake as he was trying to reach the table in a moment of distraction from his humans. But this time TK, totally high on love, didn’t even mind and just laughed along with his amazing and beautiful boyfriend while trying to stop the dog from eating too much of what was still left. _

_ Later that night, when they were finishing cleaning everything together, TK turned to his boyfriend with a shy smile that immediately made Carlos smile himself. _

_ “Not to sound too arrogant, but…” TK said, hesitantly. “Did your wish come true, by any chance?” _

_ “No, I wished for a new car” Carlos answered in a joking tone, earning a playful slap on his chest and the most beautiful smile he had ever had the fortune to lie his eyes on. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go!


	4. The time TK's last wall was knocked down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, I'm so so sorry it took me so long to post the last chapter! It's just that I went back to work after the holidays and well... I'm a teacher, so you can imagine how difficult had been getting everything ready for the new school year with all the safety restrictions, after so many months! Anyway, I apologize. I really hope you enjoy the last chapter!

TK telling him that he loved him for the first time surely had to be on the top three of his favorite memories together. It surely had taken him a long time to say it -at least considering Carlos had been ready to say it to him months before, although he hadn’t dared in case it scared TK or made him feel like Carlos was asking too much too soon-. But he didn’t resent him for it, never had, even for a second. TK had said it in his own time, when he felt ready for it, and Carlos knew that in some way that had been a way of taking care of him too: he hadn’t wanted to say it until he was absolutely sure that he could give himself completely to Carlos, with no reservations, instead of breaking his heart if things didn’t go as they expected. So yeah, there was no way Carlos was going to resent him for taking his time, when he was only protecting him.

In fact, TK always mentioned how much Carlos took care of him, but the latter didn’t see it that way: they took care of each other, TK just didn’t seem to see it when he was the one doing it. He might have not said “I love you” for a long time, but he had told him without words a million times prior to that. It was there every time he would come to pick him up from the police station unannounced or brought some food there so they could have lunch together just because he needed to be near him for a while; it was there every time he got up and made coffee and just sat in bed sipping it as he waited for him to wake up on his own because he thought he needed the extra sleep (and of course brought a warm cup to him as soon as he opened his eyes); it was there all those times Carlos had had a bad shift and TK had held him for minutes, even hours sometimes, missing dinner, missing sleep, as Carlos cried or just ranted about the injustice of their world; it was definitely there when Carlos’ mom had been in the hospital and he had insisted on being counted on to take turns staying with her as much as Carlos and his siblings.

So yeah, knowing TK loved him had really not been a big surprise, he was very aware of how much he cared about him. But hearing those words -and knowing TK finally felt sure and secure enough with him to say it- had been amazing.

Feeling his throat closing with emotion at the memory, he decided to continue his inspection of the apartment before he ended up crying like a baby -he didn’t want TK to know how affected he was, in case he thought he regretted his decision to move, which he didn’t-. But who was he trying to kid? He knew everything was packed and waiting for him at the truck, both he and TK had made sure like a thousand times before closing the last box. Maybe it was time to go. Maybe it was time to let everything go.

He started moving towards the front door and passed by the TV. Or rather where the TV used to be, as it had already been carefully packed into Judd’s truck. All was left of it was the mark it had left on the wall where it had hung. There was also a mark on the thin layer of dust that had accumulated on the piece of furniture where his Nintendo Wii had been until just yesterday.

TK and he had never spent a lot of time playing videogames -the Nintendo had been a gift from his sister that he had never asked-, as they prefered to invest their spare time in other activities. But still there had been a few games every now and then. And Carlos vividly remembered the last time one of them had taken place.

********** 

_ Carlos was flicking through the channels of his television without really stopping in any of them long enough to be interested. He was really only making time until his beautiful boyfriend would finish his shift and make his way back to him. They hadn’t really talked about it, and they didn’t have any big plans for the evening, but Carlos was sure that, unless Owen needed his son for anything, TK would come to his apartment at the end of the day instead of his own place. Something that had been happening more and more in the last weeks, Carlos realized with a smile. And he loved that TK wouldn’t ask for permission to come anymore, or they didn’t need to make plans for it to happen: they just wanted to be together, it was as simple as that, even if it was just hanging out and just doing domestic stuff. It was almost as if they… no, Carlos didn’t even want to think about it. Because yes, he was dying for TK to move in with him officially. Not that it would mean a big change, really, as TK already spent more time there than at the apartment he was supposed to be sharing with his dad, and he usually used the key Carlos had given him months ago without even thinking about it. He even had been leaving more and more of his stuff in Carlos’ apartment: some clothes (although he kept stealing Carlos’ clothes because he loved wearing stuff that smelled like him… and as it warmed Carlos’t heart to no end anyway, that wasn’t much of a problem), his toothbrush and skin care products, even some slippers. So it wouldn’t be that big a deal to make it official, right? They would just have to bring the rest of his stuff over. No big deal. _

_ But it was a big deal, Carlos was very aware of that. And he was afraid it was too much. They were both fully committed in their relationship, he knew TK loved him to no end and it wouldn’t be long until they would be celebrating their first anniversary together. He knew TK had made a big effort to reach the point they were now, and Carlos couldn’t possibly have the nerve to ask even more out of him. The last thing he wanted was to scare him away or, what was worse, make TK feel as if he owed him and agree to something he wasn’t ready for. So he would just have to wait and follow TK’s pace, as he had done from the beginning. It was not that much to ask, really, considering everything TK provided in his life and in his heart. And again, it wouldn’t make that much of a difference anyway, because they already spent practically all their free time together. TK would decide when he was ready for it, and that was it. Which didn’t mean that Carlos was not going to enjoy him as much as he could in the meantime, anyway. _

_ His thoughts were interrupted by the distinct sound of a key turning in the front door, and he smiled at the expectation of finally reuniting with his boyfriend after a long day apart. _

_ “Hey, honey, I’m home!” TK shouted in a joking tone while taking his shoes off to leave them next to the door, along with his bag. _

_ “I can see you, babe, no need to yell” Carlos admonished him playfully from his place on the couch, widely smiling at his dorky boyfriend. _

_ “Oh, you’re there” he answered, and Carlos thought he could melt just at the wide smile TK was rewarding him with while walking towards him and then plopping by his side.“Hi” _

_ “Hi to you too” Carlos answered, all tenderness, before he bent forward to give his boyfriend a kiss. “Good day at work?” _

_ “Yeah, nothing major. Although I have to say I was kind of sad” _

_ “And why would that be, mi amor?” Carlos was about to start worrying until he saw TK’s stupidly cute pout and he could clearly see he was just playing. _

_ “Because I missed you” _

_ “Aw, look at you getting all sappy” Carlos made fun of him, but he had to laugh when TK’s pout intensified. “I missed you too, cariño, like crazy” _

_ Just so TK would see how he had really missed him, Carlos’s lips directed on their own accord to his boyfriend’s neck, and he knew his efforts were being appreciated when TK let out a soft sigh of contentment. _

_ “Don’t” TK tried to resist without too much conviction. “I was in such a hurry to see you I forgot to shower” _

_ “I don’t care, you just smell a bit like smoke and a lot like yourself, what’s there not to like?” Carlos honestly answered, busy as he was at kissing and licking every inch of TK’s neck and shoulder, even blowing a bit at the sensitive skin to give TK the goosebumps. _

_ “Stop!” TK answered with a laugh. _

_ “Come on, I’ve really, really missed you” Carlos insisted, laughing along with the other boy, pushing on him with his own body to get partially on top of him and trap him to the couch. _

_ “But I feel dirty” TK tried to protest before another sigh escaped his lips at Carlos’ ministrations before he could stop it. _

_ “So do I” Carlos agreed while one of his hands started expertly travelling south. _

_ “Not what I meant” TK answered, laughing again, as he playfully pushed Carlos off him. “I’m going to take a shower and then I’m all yours, okay?” _

_ “You better be” he threatened with a husky voice, even if he still let TK leave the couch.  _

_ “You don’t mind me using your shower, right?” TK asked, needing to make sure he wasn’t a bother even if he could guess the answer. _

_ “Ty, how many times? You don’t even have to ask, this is your home too” Carlos answered, fondly shaking his head at TK’s need to make sure he wasn’t imposing, even after all that time. _

_ It wasn’t until a heavy silence fell between them and TK’s eyes filled with something he couldn’t decipher that Carlos realized what he had said. _

_ “I mean… make yourself at home” Carlos rushed to fix his mistake, hoping against hope he hadn’t made TK feel uncomfortable -or even worse, get scared. _

_ “I’ll be back” Tk answered, his previous playful mood visibly dgone, as he turned around and left the room without further explanation. _

_ Carlos waited until he heard the door to the bathroom closing to slap his forehead in an angry gesture. How could he have been so stupid? He hadn’t even meant to say that, he just wanted to make TK understand he was welcome to act around the apartment as if it was his own home. Not to press him into taking a step in their relationship to which, judging by his reaction, he was clearly not ready for. He hoped that the fact that TK was taking a shower at his apartment anyway instead of flying away was a sign that he hadn’t scared him away too much. Although he might have been too shocked to react and the alone time in the shower would give him time to think it through and realize he didn’t want to be in a relationship where he felt pressured to make life-changing decisions when he wasn’t able to. Damn it! _

_ As he impatiently waited for TK to come back, Carlos debated with himself if he should bring it up so he could reassure TK he wasn’t expecting anything from him in any way, or maybe that would be making a big deal out of a passing comment and it would be better to just let it be. Maybe he should just wait to see TK’s mood when he came back, his attitude would probably give Carlos some hints about the best way to act to make sure he was ok -and that he didn’t want to leave him. _

_ It felt like an hour before TK came back into the room, and Carlos tried not to dwell on the fact that maybe he had needed a long while in the shower to gather the courage to face him again after his unfortunate words. He didn’t even want to think TK might had taken that long because he was trying to figure out how to tell him he wanted to break up with him because he didn’t feel they were at the same point in their relationship. Carlos was starting to panic and he felt like he was about to suffocate. _

_ But then he realized that TK had changed his clothes -the ones he was wearing probably felt dirty to him after the shower- and, instead of something of his own, he had picked Carlos’ favorite hoodie -which happened to be TK’s favorite hoodie to steal too- and was comfortably wearing it now. No one would dress on his lover’s clothes if they were about to break up with them, right? Carlos had never loved that hoodie more than he was loving it then, seeing it in the man he loved, slightly too big on him but making him look cuter than ever. _

_ “I didn’t have a change of clothes so I took this, I hope you don’t mind” TK announced as soon as he was in Carlos’ presence, still sounding a little shy. _

_ Carlos was about to reply -again!- that he didn’t even have to ask, that he could borrow whatever he needed, but he didn’t dare, in case he screwed it up even further. _

_ “Of course not” he answered, patting the place next to him on the couch, hoping that TK wouldn’t refuse and dying for him to feel comfortable and playful again. “You know I love seeing you in my clothes” _

_ “Yeah” TK answered with a polite smile before obeying and sitting then in the same place than before, only that he was now slightly further awayfrom Carlos than he had been before. _

_ “So? Feeling better now?” _

_ “Sure, like new” _

_ “I’m glad to hear that” _

_ They fell in a slightly uncomfortable silence after that, when Carlos realized TK was sitting exactly at the point of the couch that it wasn’t too far from him so that it wouldn’t look like he was angry -well, at least there was that!- but out of his reach so Carlos wouldn’t so easily start kissing him again. _

_ “What are you watching?” TK’s voice brought him out of his reverie, clearly and desperately trying to fill the silence. _

_ “Nothing, really, I was just waiting for you”  _

_ “Oh” _

_ And then silence again. Which was so strange between them, as usually they always had so much to talk about. _

_ “Are you hungry?” Carlos asked. Maybe he couldn’t make TK feel comfortable for now, but at least he could feed him and take care of him in the old-fashined way. _

_ “Not really” TK answered with a shrug of his shoulders. _

_ “I have dinner ready, so just tell me when you are” _

_ “Great” _

_ Carlos sighed at what seemed to be yet another uncomfortable silence falling upon them. He could almost hear TK’s brain functioning like crazy and he felt horrible for making him feel like this. Normally he was the one calming his anxiety, not producing it. And yeah, great, TK had started unconsciously biting the tip of his fingers now, which usually meant he was very nervous. _

_ “You’re going to hurt yourself” he reminded him gently, protectively, as he took his hand in his and moved it away from his mouth. _

_ “Sorry” TK apologized, looking very much as a little boy that had been reprimanded. _

_ “No, you… you don’t have to apologize, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself” Carlos explained bringing TK’s hand, still in his, to his lips to kiss its knuckles. _

_ He knew that TK’s sigh at his loving action was a good sign, if something like that could still move him like that it meant that he still loved him, but he was still so clearly uncomfortable… And there was nothing Carlos hated more than his beloved boyfriend not feeling comfortable. Maybe it was time to address the situation. _

_ “You okay?” _

_ “Sure” TK answered without much conviction. _

_ “You sure? You look… distracted” Carlos observed, when he realized TK had yet to look directly at him. _

_ “No, I’m okay, really, just tired” TK answered, polite as usual, even if it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it. _

_ “So…” Carlos decided to change strategies and got closer to him, sporting a sudden mischievous smile as he hoped to get him distracted from whatever was bothering him. “Are you all mine now?” _

_ “Why don’t we play some Mario Kart?” TK asked, out of nothing, bending slightly backwards before Carlos could reach him. _

_ “What?” Carlos asked, wanting to make sure he had heard it right. _

_ Because why the hell did TK want to play videogames all of a sudden, when they hardly ever did? _

_ “I feel like playing for a bit, don’t you?” TK insisted. _

_ “I was thinking of another kind of playing…”  _

_ “Come on, we haven’t played in ages” TK insisted, and he stood up in a hurry and started getting everything ready so Carlos wouldn’t have the chance to refuse. _

_ “Oh, gosh, you are serious” Carlos exclaimed, even covering his face in frustration. _

_ “Do you mind?” TK implored, suddenly serious and insistent, and Carlos wondered if he wanted to play because it would help him calm his nerves, so of course Carlos couldn’t say no to that. _

_ “No, of course not” he answered, leaving the couch with a sigh to sit on the floor in front of the TV, right next to his boyfriend, who gave him a grateful smile. _

_ And Carlos just smiled back at him and took the controller he was offering him. Because what he wouldn’t do to make TK feel good and safe, right? _

_ And well, maybe it hadn’t been such a bad idea, after all. Soon after the first game started, TK seemed to be getting a little less tense, and he even joked a couple of times. Carlos was surprised to realize he was having a good time, after all, and a good while later they had won an equal number of games. _

_ “What do you say we have the last game to see who wins and then we have supper?” Carlos suggested, reluctantly forgetting about the loving intercourse they were supposed to be having a while ago. “It’s getting late and you have an early shift tomorrow, right?” _

_ “Right” TK answered, and Carlos could feel the tension building in him again, as if he wanted to say or do something but couldn’t find the courage to do it. _

_ “Ok, so let’s play the last one” Carlos said, trying to keep his boyfriend from spiraling again. _

_ “Care to make it more interesting?” TK suddenly asked, once again confusing Carlos with the unexpectedness of it. _

_ “Sure” he answered, curious about whatever TK might be plotting. Maybe he was getting in the mood for some loving action again? “What do you have to offer?” _

_ “Well, if you win… you can ask me to move in with you” TK announced in only one breath, as if he was scared that if he stopped to take a breath he would never be able to finish that sentence. _

_ Carlos’ heart skipped a beat at what he was hearing. Or maybe it stopped beating altogether, he wasn’t sure. Was TK… was he really asking him in his own unique way to have him move in with him? But trying to make Carlos be the one to ask so it wouldn’t look like he was imposing his presence there? By the red, embarrassed face he was sporting now, it really looked like so. And Carlos couldn’t love him more just for that. _

_ “Ok, sounds fair” Carlos answered, trying to sound nonchalant even if he could feel he was failing really bad by the big smile that kept escaping from his lips.  _

_ But that wasn’t going to stop him from keeping up with TK’s little game because it was the sweetest thing he had ever experienced and he really wanted to enjoy it. _

_ “And what if I lose?” he asked, looking intently at TK’s nervous gaze. _

_ “Well… if you lose you’re obviously gonna need a consolation prize” _

_ “Obviously” Carlos answered with a chuckle, happy noticing there was a bit of mischievousness under all the anxiety in his boyfriend. _

_ “If you lose… I’ll let you ask me to move in with you” TK explained with a shy smile, making Carlos laugh and his heart swell to the point of almost bursting. _

_ “It’s an interesting offer” he answered with a failed attempt at keeping a straight face. _

_ “Do we have a deal?” TK asked, playfully offering his hand. _

_ “We really do” Carlos answered, shaking TK’s hand to close the deal. _

_ As TK started getting the next game ready, Carlos found he couldn’t stop looking at him, marvelled at how bad he had been reading the situation all afternoon. This beautiful, amazing, loving man hadn’t been planning to leave him or hadn’t even been freaking out about what felt like too big a step to take. He had just been gathering the courage to make a move about it, or even just finding the perfect way to do it. He was… perfect, just like that. And he wanted to share his life with him. And suddenly it was almost too much for his heart to take, and he could feel his hands shaking with emotion at the thought that it was finally happening, that his greatest wish was coming true and TK’s last barrier had been knocked down without him even noticing. _

_ “I think you’re going to need to look at the screen, you know” TK reminded him with a little chuckle when the game started and Carlos was still looking stupidly at him. _

_ “Oh, sorry” Carlos answered, moving his eyes towards the television with a big effort. _

_ But of course his heart was not in the game. How could it be, when it was beating like crazy? He could barely keep it in his chest! When that game finished, no matter the result, he was going to ask TK to come live with him! And he was going to say yes! Who cared about a stupid game? _

_ Surely not him. And it was obvious when he lost in the worst of ways, too nervous to keep his head on the game. _

_ “I won!” TK yelled, celebrating it with a cute fist in the air that only made him look all the more adorable to his doting boyfriend. _

_ But enough with the game, he couldn’t wait any longer for that adorable boyfriend to be next to him until the end of time. _

_ “So…” he started. _

_ “So?” TK repeated, pretending not to know what Carlos wanted to say. _

_ “Do I get to collect my consolation prize now?” _

_ “I’m a man of word” _

_ Carlos wanted to do it right, so he left his controller on the floor and took the one in TK’s hands from him to do the same. Then he turned to his side, motioning for TK to do the same so they were sitting fully in front of each other, and took one of TK’s hands in both of his. _

_ “Tyler Kennedy Strand, do you want to move in with me?” he asked, stupidly nervous even if he knew what the answer was going to be. _

_ “I don’t know, Carlos, it’s all so sudden!” TK answered, pretending to be thinking about it even if he could hardly stop himself from laughing, and Carlos marvelled at how beautiful he looked when he was that playful and how stupid he had been just an hour ago to think TK was planning on leaving him -he should have trusted him, after all. _

_ But wait, that little bastard hadn’t said yes yet! If he thought he was going to play with him... _

_ “You little devil” Carlos said, playfully threatening, just before he jumped on his boyfriend and made him fall on his back to straddle him to the floor. _

_ Carlos hadn’t even started with his tickling yet and TK was already laughing, knowing what was coming. So when Carlos really started inflicting his torture, TK didn’t seem to be able to decide if he wanted to scream, to plead or to laugh like an idiot, and his attempts at freeing himself were proving quite unsuccesful because it was difficult enough to even breath. Carlos kept with his punishment, but he couldn’t keep himself from laughing along with his dorky boyfriend, seeing him so happy and, above all, so carefree, and he vowed to himself to do anything in his power to have him feel like this forever. _

_ Once he said what he wanted him to say, of course. _

_ “Say it” Carlos commanded. _

_ “I have to think about it” TK was cheeky enough to answer between laughs. _

_ “Say it” Carlos insisted, reinforcing his tickling at TK’s middle. _

_ “It’s a hard decision!” _

_ “Say it!” _

_ “Ok, ok, yes!” TK finally relented, yelling, when he couldn’t even breathe anymore from laughing so much. “Yes, I want to live with you!” _

_ “See? It wasn’t so difficult” Carlos answered, finally stopping his torture now that he had what he wanted. _

_ But he didn’t move an inch away from his boyfriend. That beautiful, loving, caring, funny boyfriend lying on the floor trustingly under him, as if he was completely sure that Carlos would never hurt him. His face was flushed with the effort of their “fight”, an incredibly blinding smile was still on his lips, and Carlos wondered, not for the first time, what he had done to deserve someone like TK in his life. _

_ All playfulness aside, his heart filled again with love for the boy looking at him with so much adoration, so he bent down and tenderly cupped TK’s cheek before he captured his lips in which probably was the most tender kiss they had ever shared -and they had shared a lot! _

_ “Are you sure about this?” Carlos felt he had to ask once the kiss broke, his hand moving on its own accord to caress a lock of hair that had fallen on his TK’s forehead. _

_ “Yeah” TK answered, his smile impossibly tender. _

_ “Because you don’t have to do it just for me or because what I said earlier, you know? I can wait as long as you need” _

_ “Carlos, look at me” TK ordered, his tone a mixture of sterness and tenderness as he cupped Carlos’s cheeks to force him to lock gazes with him so he could see how serious he was. “I’m very sure”  _

_ “Yeah?” Carlos insisted, but a little smile was breaking on his lips at the complete confidence he could read in his boyfriend’s eyes. _

_ “Yeah. In fact I have been thinking about it for days, to be honest, but I didn’t know how to say it without imposing and… your words from before, about this being my home too, just gave me the necessary courage to make a move” _

_ “Mi amor, you never have to worry about how to say things to me, ok? Just say them. I want to know everything that’s on your mind. Especially something like that!” _

_ TK chuckled at Carlos’ excitement, feeling like the most loved man in the world just by the happiness that his boyfriend was showing at the prospect of them sharing their lives completely. He never thought he would reach that point with someone, let alone with someone like Carlos, so generous, caring and… well, perfect. So in a rush of affection he moved one of his hands to the back of Carlos’ neck and brought him down to kiss him again, nice and slowly. _

_ “Ok, and as I told you I’m a man of word. So I’m all yours now” TK joked against Carlos’ lips, getting lost in their kiss. _

_ “Oh, but we have a million things to do now!” Carlos answered in full excitement, getting up from the floor in one jump and bringing TK up with him by his hand even if the latter was groaning in protest. “We have to start making room for your things! Do you want to start with the living room or maybe the bedroom? I guess the wardrobe would be the most important thing. Or the kitchen, though knowing you I don’t think you’ll have a lot of things in that area, even if we have to make sure to make room in the fridge for that grossy bobba of yours, of course”  _

_ It wasn’t until he heard TK’s chuckle that he realized he was babbling. He turned around and saw TK looking fondly at him, not moving from where he was standing with a wide smile on his lips. _

_ “What?” Carlos asked, blushing with embarrassment. _

_ “Nothing. I just love you” TK answered, shrugging his shoulders as if that was a mundane thing to say and it hadn’t just made Carlos’s heart swell to the point of bursting. _

_ “I love you too” Carlos answered, his smile equally fond, as he engulfed TK in a warm embrace that lasted much longer than expected. _

_ But who could blame them after all the emotion they had just experienced? It was the beginning of the rest of their lives, after all, so what if they didn’t feel like stepping away from each other yet? _

_ “I so let you win” Carlos said after a while, his lips still pressed against TK’s neck so he felt the vibrations when the latter started laughing. _

_ “You did not!” TK protested, even breaking the embrace to playfully slap at Carlos’ chest. _

_ “I so did!” he insisted, bringing a finger to TK’s lips to silence any further protest. “I didn’t want you to feel bad because I love you” _

_ “Lucky me, then” TK answered in full irony, but he eagerly let Carlos kiss him again. “And now dinner? It’s really getting late” _

_ “Don’t you want to start with the wardrobe first?” _

_ “We don’t have to do it tonight!” TK exclaimed, fully laughing at his adorable boyfriend. _

_ “I’m just too excited!” _

_ ********** _

That surely had to be his favorite memory of them all. Of course they didn’t get to do the wardrobe or anything else that night because it didn’t take much than a couple of kisses for TK to convince him there were other ways to celebrate. And they did celebrate that night for sure. More than once, in fact.

So yeah, he couldn’t be happier to be moving to a new place to start a new life that he would get to share with the love of his life. And he positively knew they were going to be so happy… But that knowledge didn’t make it any easier to leave that place, the place where everything had started and developed.

He was perching on a wall, trying to gather the courage to finally look away and move to the car, when he felt a couple of arms encircling his waist from behind and a warm chin accommodating on his shoulder. And the familiarity of the scene, the instant comfort his boyfriend’s warmth brought to him, made him smile, just as he rested his own hands on TK’s arms.

“Everything is in Judd’s truck now” TK explained, almost in a whisper, almost as if he didn’t want to disturb the quiet of the place -or Carlos’ strange mood. “We better get going before he decides he doesn’t want to help us anymore and leaves with all your stuff”

Carlos chuckled without too much enthusiasm, his hands distractedly massaging the arms still holding him around his middle.

“We’ll make new memories in our new home, you know” TK suddenly said, surprising Carlos with the accuracy of them.

“How do you know?” he asked, marvelled -not for the first time- at how well TK knew him, almost as if he could read his mind.

“I don’t know, you have this nostalgic vibe” 

“Come here” Carlos raised one of his arms so he could embrace TK under his wing, to which the latter easily complied, immediately cuddling to his side. “Yeah, it’s… kind of sad, you know? We’ve lived so much here…”

“We sure have…” TK agreed, resting a loving kiss on Carlos’ cheek. “We can still change our minds and stay here, you know? Judd would kill us for sure, but well…”

“No, no, I meant it, I want a fresh start, a place it’s yours and mine from the beginning” Carlos answered, trying to sound more cheerful, afraid TK would think he was regretting something -which was the last thing he was doing, of course. “And I’m so excited about it, I swear. i just needed a moment”

But he didn’t need to worry, as TK just nodded, understanding. TK always understood, Carlos remembered with a smile, and he turned completely to him to kiss him in gratitude.

“The new memories will be even better” TK promised, before giving Carlos a kiss of his own.

“They so will” Carlos answered, really meaning it, as he threw an arm around TK’s shoulders and finally let himself be led to the door of the apartment.

And gosh, they were going to have such a good life they were going to make more happy memories than they would know what to do with them. But, even then, Carlos knew in his heart he would always keep those old ones in some little corner of his heart. And that thought comforted him when he closed the front door of the apartment for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! What a wonderful journey it has been! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!
> 
> I don't know if I'm going to write anything else for now... First, because of how my spare time has reduced dramatically. And second, because, frankly, I don't have any more ideas right now. So if I don't keep it up... thanks to all of you who read my story, especially to the ones that commented! You guys are the best! It's been a pleasure!


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